Our Billy

CHARACTERS

Police Officer – late-twenties.

Woman – in her thirties, though she looks like someone’s grandmother.

Johnny

Neighbour

 

SETTING

 

A Council House. Both exterior and interior.

 

 

 

 

                       FROM THE STREET, A GROTTINESS IS INSTANTLY APPARENT.

 

                       THE FRONT DOOR WAS ONCE WHITE, BUT IT HAS BEEN STAINED BY SO MANY LAYERS OF MUD, MOULD AND                              WHATEVER ELSE THAT IT IS NOW A GRIMY BLACK. THE FRONT GARDEN HAS BEEN NEGLECTED, RIFE WITH                                WITHERED WEEDS AND THORNS, LIKE SOMETHING FROM DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS; THE PICKET FENCE IS DENTED                        INWARDS, PROPPED AGAINST THE CHIPPED BRICKWORK OF THE HOUSE; IN THE WINDOW, A PEELING STICKER                          READS ‘NEVER MIND THE DOG, BEWARE OF THE OWNER.’ RUSTY BICYCLES LITTER THE ROAD.

 

                       POLICE OFFICER APPROACHES THE HOUSE.

 

                       AS THEY DO, A GROUP OF CHILDREN RUN ACROSS STAGE. THEY MAKE PIG NOISES, MOCKING THE OFFICER. IT                          IS A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT.

 

                       OFFICER RINGS THE DOORBELL. IT DOESN’T WORK. THEY KNOCK INSTEAD. 

           

                       OPENING THE DOOR, WOMAN APPEARS, FILLING THE FRAME. SHE IS WRAPPED IN A NICOTINE-STAINED WHITE                        DRESSING-GOWN, PINK SLIPPERS ON, AND HER HAIR TIED UP IN A PINK TOWEL. IT APPEARS THAT SHE HAS                                JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE SHOWER. A CIGARETTE DROOPS FROM HER FINGERS, AS SHE EXHALES A LARGE                                PUFF IN THE OFFICER’S FACE. SHE IS ALSO CHEWING GUM.

 

Woman:          Yeah, what can I do you for?

 

Officer:            Mrs. Parks?

 

Woman:          Yeah, that’s me. What about it?

 

Officer:            Regan Parks?

 

Woman:          It’s Reagan, luv. Like the Prime Minister. My old man was drunk when I popped out. Mum probably was, too. I’m just grateful that                        I ain’t my brother, Terminator. The looks he gets.

 

Officer:            (STILL UNCERTAIN) You’re Reagan Parks?

 

Woman:          (IMPATIENT) Yes.

 

Officer:            May I come in?

 

                       OFFICER MAKES A START FORWARDS, BUT THEIR WAY IS BLOCKED BY WOMAN.

 

Woman:          Woah, easy there, soldier. You gotta at least take me on a date first.

 

                       OFFICER TAKES A STEP BACK.

 

Officer:            Have you been drinking, Mrs. Parks?

 

Woman:          No, I have not. I ain’t drunk nothing since my Billy was born.

 

                       A LOOK OF GUILT CROSSES THE OFFICER. THEY GLANCE TO THE FLOOR.

 

Officer:            This is very serious, Mrs. Parks.

 

Woman:          And so’s my privacy, luv.

 

                       FROM ACROSS THE STREET:

 

Neighbour:     (SHOUTING) What’ve they done this time, officer? Did he forget to flush it down the toilet?

 

                       A CATTISH LAUGH.

 

Woman:          Oh, shove off, Linda! And tell David, thanks for last night.

 

                       NEIGHBOUR SCOWLS, DISGUSTED. EXITS.

 

Woman:          (TO OFFICER) What were you saying?

 

Officer:            I have some very important information, Mrs Parks, and it would be good for me to come in.

 

Woman:          Alright, alright. This way. I’ve only just finished cleaning up.

 

                       THE HOUSE IS A TIP.

 

                       PELLETS FROM A CAT LITTER TRAY ADORN THE GREY CARPET. A PILE OF COATS AND

                       SHOES ARE CRAMMED BEHIND THE DOOR, WHERE A BROKEN COAT-HANGER

                       DANGLES, HAVING TORN CHUNKS FROM THE WALL PLASTER.

 

                       THEY LINGER IN THE CRAMPED HALLWAY.

 

Officer:            Is there anyone else home, Mrs. Parks? A husband or – ?

 

Woman:          No, it’s just me. (SLIGHTLY AGGRAVATED) And if it’s about him – that excuse for a man – then I’ve told you people before that                          I don’t know where he is. An’ if he comes here, I won’t be letting him in. If he’s still doing that stuff, it’s got nothing to do with me                       - I’ve washed my hands with him.

 

Officer:            I understand, Mrs. Parks.

 

Woman:          You better. (UNDER HER BREATH) I’ve had enough of this.

 

Officer:            You have a son, is that correct?        

 

Woman:          Yeah, what about it?

 

Officer:            And the father’s not here…

 

Woman:          I just said that din’t I.

 

Officer:            Mrs. Parks, is there anywhere we could sit down?

 

Woman:          Social services didn’t send you, did they? Cos if they did –

 

Officer:            No. This is something… different. And I really think that it would be best if we could sit down.

 

Woman:          Yeah, yeah, in there.

 

                       SHE GUIDES OFFICER INTO THE LIVING-ROOM.

 

                       CHILDREN TOYS LITTER THE SPACE.

 

                       OFFICER IS UNNERVED. CAUTIOUSLY, THEY TAKE A SEAT IN AN ARMCHAIR. THE

                       LEATHER IS OLD AND SAGGY, AND THEY SINK INTO IT UNCOMFORTABLY.

 

Woman:          Is this gonna take long? Only, I’ve got Zumba in half an hour, and I need to make my Billy’s dinner so that he can put it in the                                  microwave when he gets back. I tell ya, that kid bleeds me dry – even as a baby he’d suck it out of me. Was a hungry one even then;                        would never let go. You had to prize him off. I used to a have a nice figure, until he came along and turned me into bloody Fiona.                            But… What are kids for, ay?

 

                       OFFICER HAS PICKED UP A BATMAN FIGURINE FROM THE LITTER OF TOYS.

 

Officer:            Is this Billy’s?

 

Woman:          Yeah, it is. That look – do you know ‘im? Listen, if it’s about those kids who were bullying him, it’s my fault if he punched ‘em one.                        I gave him my blessing. They deserved everything they got.

 

Officer:            It’s not about that, Mrs. Parks. (GESTURES TO THE SOFA) I think you should sit down.

 

Woman:          (AS SHE SITS; SLIGHTLY WORRIED) Why? What’s happened?

 

Officer:            Mrs. Parks, there’s no easy way to say this, but I’m afraid Billy’s been involved in an accident. There was a drunk driver and…                              (GULPS) Mrs. Parks, I’m afraid – I’m afraid that Billy was killed.

 

                       SILENCE.

 

Officer:            (UNEASY) I’m so sorry. There was nothing that the paramedics could do.

 

                       SILENCE. THEN, A FAINT LAUGH ESCAPES WOMAN.

 

Officer:            Mrs. Parks, I know this can be a lot to take in –

 

                       A FULL STRAFE OF LAUGHTER NOW.

 

Woman:          Oh, that’s a good one, officer. Wait ‘til he hears this. (SHE SHOUTS OFFSTAGE) Johnny! Wait ‘til you hear this!

 

Johnny:           (FROM OFFSTAGE) What?

 

Woman:          I’m in the living room. There’s a guest – a bobby – so make sure your shirt’s on.

 

Officer:            I thought you said that you were alone –

 

Woman:          Oh, Johnny? Oh, he’s no-one really. (SHOUTING OFFSTAGE) Oi, breasts, get in here! (TO OFFICER) We call him breasts cos                              he’s had a massive pair since he was about ten.

 

                       JOHNNY – AKA BREASTS – ENTERS, PULLING A SHIRT OVER HIS OBESE FRAME.

 

Woman:          Finally, listen to what officer (GLANCES AT OFFICER)

 

Officer:            Reaper

 

Woman:          What Officer Reaper here has to say.

 

Johnny:           Look, officer, if it’s about the car, I told the Council I won’t move it cos of my mobility. I need it close to the house – an’ if they                              wanna do anything about it, they can get me a blue badge, pronto.

 

Woman:          Nah, it ain’t about that Johnny. It’s about our Billy.

 

Johnny:           Oh…

 

Officer:            Yes, that’s right, Mr – ?

 

Johnny:           Johnny. Just Johnny will do. But people ‘round here call me br-

 

Officer:            Yes, um, my mistake. Mrs. Parks is in a bit of shock because she’s just found out that –

 

Woman:          He told me that our Billy, our Billy was hit by a car. Our Billy.

 

                       WOMAN AND JOHNNY LAUGH.

 

Johnny:           Billy? Our Billy? Hit by a car? I’ve never heard such a story. Good one, officer. Pulling her leg like that. (REALISATION) You’re                          pulling her leg, right?

 

Woman:          Course he is.               Aren’t ya?

 

                       OFFICER BOWS HIS CAP.

 

Officer:            I’m so very sorry.       

 

                       REALISATION STRIKES WOMAN.

 

Woman:          No, no, he can’t be. Not my Billy. You must have made a mistake. (TURNS TO JOHNNY) He must have made a mistake. Tell him,                        Johnny. He must have made a mistake!

 

                       WOMAN SHIELDS HERSELF IN JOHNNY.

 

Johnny:           Look, Officer Reaper, are you sure it was our Billy?

 

Officer:            Very sure.

 

Woman:          No, I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it. Where’s your proof, huh? It could’a been anyone.

 

Johnny:           Yeah, you coppers make mistakes all the time. I saw this programme once, ‘bout some right Jack the Ripper type figure, an’ the                                police thought that they’d caught him in the act one-time, right red handed, literally bent over the body – turns out they were just the                        guy who’d called it in in the first place.

 

Woman:          My Billy would never get in trouble near the road. I taught him proper, and he’d only had a green cross code day at school not so                            long ago.

 

Johnny:           Our Billy was a sensible lad.

 

Woman:          It weren’t him, officer. I tell you –

 

Officer:            I know this will be very distressing, Mrs. Parks, but we found this on his person.

 

                       OFFICER PRODUCES A COLOURFUL BOBBLE HAT. IT IS IN A PLASTIC EVIDENCE BAG.

 

Woman:          Well, that could be anyone’s.

 

Johnny:           Yeah, I seen loads of kids with them hats on.

 

                       CAREFULLY, OFFICER REMOVES THE BOBBLE HAT. INSIDE IS A NAMETAG THAT

                       READS, ‘PROPERTY OF BILLY PARKS.’

 

Johnny:           That could be a different Billy Parks. Not our Billy.

 

                       WOMAN FLIES AT OFFICER. TEARS STREAMING, FISTS ON THEIR CHEST, AS THEY STANDS THERE, RESOLUTE.

 

Woman:          You’ve taken him, you monster! This is all a lie! He’s not dead. You’ve taken him.

 

                       JOHNNY EMBRACES WOMAN, SMOTHERING HER FROM THE OFFICER.

 

Officer:            I know you’re grieving, Mrs. Parks. But I’m going to have to ask you to stop.

 

                       AS JOHNNY EMBRACES WOMAN, HER HEAD PILLOWED IN HIS LARGE CHEST, THE SIGHT IS HEART-                                                 WRENCHING. AS THEY FEEL TEARS COMING, OFFICER TURNS TO LEAVE.

 

Officer:            I’m so sorry. I need to go. One of my colleagues will be around later.

 

                       OFFICER SEES THAT WOMAN HAS HOLD OF THE BEANIE HAT, SCRUNCHED IN HER FISTS. THEY LEAVE HER                                  WITH IT.

 

                       AS HE EXITS:

 

Johnny:           Was it really our Billy?

 

Officer:            One of my colleagues will be around later.

 

                       OFFICER EXITS BEFORE THEIR HUMANITY BLEEDS THROUGH.  

​

THE END.